60 Funny House Cleaning Quotes

60 Funny House Cleaning Quotes

If you can't laugh about it, it becomes that much more of a chore! We rounded up 60 of the funniest house cleaning quotes (because we couldn't just pick 20) and are sharing them with you! 

1. “l properties that add to the power of the product."


2. “I have trouble with four letter words, cook, wash, iron, dust.”


3. “Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself!”


4. “Dust is a protective coating for fine furniture.” – Mario Buatta


5. “The only thing I hate more than having a dirty house is cleaning.”


6. “Both of us can’t look good at the same time… it’s me or the house.”


7. “You know what would make house cleaning way more fun? A maid.”


8. “My room isn’t messy, it’s an obstacle course designed to keep me fit.”


9. “Housework can’t kill you, but why take the chance?” – Phyllis Diller


10. “Our house is clean enough to be healthy, and dirty enough to be happy.”


11. “Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door.” – Marcelene Cox


12. “Walking into your room and saying, “I should clean this” then walking out.”


13. “I hate cleaning up around here. What’s the point? It’s gonna get dirty again.”


14. “I just finished cleaning the house. Nobody will touch anything for the next week.”


15. “Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back.”                                                                                                                                                 
16. “I was going to clean my house… but then someone commented on my status."


17. “Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.”                                                                                                                                                              
18. “I had to clean my house for two hours just to tell guests, “Sorry about the mess.”


19. “My idea of a superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.” – Bette Midler


20. “You don’t get anything clean without getting something else dirty.” – Cecil Baxter

21. “When your mom makes that face but doesn’t say anything, flee or clean something.”


22. “Nothing inspires cleanliness more than an unexpected guest.” – Radhika Mundra


23. “When I say I cleaned my room, I usually mean, I made a path from my door to my bed.”


24. “I have discovered the secret to a clean house: never let your children or husband enter it.”


25. “Good moms have sticky floors, messy kitchens, laundry piles, dirty ovens, and happy kids.”


26. “I get more cleaning done in the 10 minutes before someone comes over than I do in a week.”


27. “Dear small line of dirt that won’t go into the dustpan… I hate you with every part of my soul.”


28. “I feel like I should clean the house, so I’m going to lay down and nap until the feeling passes.”


29. “Cleaning the house fascinates everyone in my family… They can sit and watch me for hours!!!”


30. “First rule of house cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone.”


31. “Have you ever looked at the last few loads of laundry and considered just throwing them away?”


32. “Everybody wants to save the earth; no one wants to help mom do the dishes.” – P.J. O’Rourke


33. “You know you’re an adult when you get excited about a new cleaning sponge at the kitchen sink.”


34. “When you just finished cleaning the house and someone comes in throwing all their stuff around.”


35. “Instead of organizing and cleaning my house I spend all day pining about organizing and cleaning.”


36. “I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.” – Shirley Conran


37. “You know that amazing feeling when you go to bed knowing your entire house is clean? Ya, neither do I.”


38. “Just cleaned my whole house from top to bottom, so now I’m going to need everybody to stop living here.”


39. “A husband is someone who, after emptying the bin, gives the impression he just cleaned the entire house.”


40. “Instead of cleaning the house, I just watch an episode of Hoarders and think “Wow, my house looks great!""


41. “Be nice to your cleaning lady… She is the only one who knows which rag she washed your coffee mug and desk with.”


42. “My neighbors were yelling so loud at their kids to clean up the room that out of fear even I started cleaning my room.”


43. “I’m going to start cleaning my house. And by cleaning, I mean drinking wine and spraying everything withOdor remover."


44. “We dream of having a clean house — but who dreams of actually doing the cleaning?” – Marcus Buckingham


45. “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” – Phyllis Diller


46. “I clean when I’m frustrated. So, if you show up unannounced and our house is clean… You might want to reconsider your visit.”


47. “I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.” – Joan Rivers


48. “Have you ever taken anything out of the clothes basket because it had become, relatively, the cleaner thing?” – Kathrine Whitehorn


49. “I don’t care about Disney lying about my prince charming. I’m more upset about forest creatures and their unwillingness to clean my house.”


50. “Someone sent me an email about using vodka for cleaning around the house. It worked! The more vodka I drank the cleaner the house looked!”


51. “Ok… the bills are washed, the laundry is paid, clothes are in the oven and the last load of dinner is in the dryer. It looks like I got my to-do list finished!”


52. “I’ve always enjoyed doing dishes. Maybe it was the fashionable yellow gloves that I loved so much. It’s weird, I know, but I find cleaning cathartic.” – Rachel Nichols


53. “My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?” – Erma Bombeck


54. “I suffer from ADCD: attention deficit cleaning disorder. it’s where you start to clean one thing but get distracted by another thing that needs cleaning. That causes you to bounce from one job to another only to end up doing a lot of work with nothing to show for it.”


55. “I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.” – Shirley Conran


56. “Cleaning up with children around is like shoveling during a blizzard.” - Margaret Culkin Banning


57. “It’s amazing how kids learn to use a computer, a smartphone, and even learn to drive a car…yet have no concept of how to use a dishwasher, vacuum cleaner or lawnmower”


58. “Housework is work directly opposed to the possibility of human self-actualization.” - Ann Oakley


59. “My favorite way of getting out of doing chores is by acting like I’m asleep. But it never works.” - Devon Werkheiser


60. “I can't clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find."

 

Hope these put a smile on your face! 

*All quotes sourced from Pinterest - some author unknown and others are marked with author.

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